How To Write Your Own Wedding Vows?

Writing your vows is something unique, and it is the best way to express your love towards your better half. Many of you want to write something different, and hence they find it difficult, they tend to choose something which is copied from somewhere. So here I would like to tell you how to write your own wedding vows in a perfect and easy manner.

How To Write Your Own Wedding Vows?

how to write your own wedding vows

Preparing for writing your vows

First you have to make sure that writing your own vows is acceptable for your officiant. Once you get clearance regarding this, then you can think of writing it.

Make sure that you and your partner will be writing your own vows

Both of you must be committed to this concept. You both have equal importance in writing the vows for your own. If not, it is very easy for the guests to identify the faults. Remember that, everyone might not be good enough to write a good vow for themselves.

Take your own time

Once you have decided to write your vows, and then both of you should take some time to write it. Think well before you start with the writing. Think of all the specialties of your loved ones and all those wonderful moments happened in your life. There might be some unique character of your partner that you would be liking or hating. If you want to present it in a funny way, then you can do that too. Always remember that you don’t write something that hurts him/her and spoil your whole big day. Brainstorm well before you start with the writing. Find below some of the better ways to reflect your love for that significant person in your life.

  • Make a vow date:  Choose any of the romantic destinations or any favorite restaurants of yours and your better half. Have some wine and start your conversation with the love you have for each other. Share all those beautiful memories in your relationship, discuss the unforgettable days in your lives together. It can be a birthday party or a trip to any beautiful places. You can even discuss the hardest experience you went through and that golden moment when you decided that you want to spend your rest of the life with your partner. Sharing all these matters will give you new ideas regarding what have to be written in your vows.
  • Don’t be scared of being a little silly for your vow date: Even all those goofy memories will work very well. It would be better if you bring a notebook so that you can jot down the point sand ideas. If not, you can use your smart phone to save all those points.
  • Take the time while you write your own: You can write all your thoughts about the partner in a journal.
  •  If you have a personal diary or a journal which has all the instances in your relationship, then go through that before you start writing your vows.

Create a vow plan with your partner

Once you have refreshed all your memories and jotted down the points, then you can sit down with your better half to make a plan for the vow so that it doesn’t contradict each other. Also, you have to make sure that your partner is happy about the facts you have considered for your vow. Here I have added some important things you need to do before you start writing down your vow.

  • Word limit and time constrain: most of the people write their vows for 150 words, or it can go up to 1 minute. Always remember that you don’t make it further longer. That can make your guests feel bored and restless. So make it short and sweet and easily understandable.
  • Decide on the tone of the vow: Do you want it to be serious or with a touch of humor? Poetic? Highly romantic? Though both of your vows won’t be same, remember that it shouldn’t sound weird if you present a hilarious one, and your partner goes for a deeply romantic tone. You can show your witty sides yet you need to have a serious undertone as you are entering into a lifelong commitment.
  •  Finalize on the structure of the content: Always go for a matching structure rather than going for a contradictory structure. You can start it with “I promise…” or “I pledge…” Both of you can have the same closing line too, only if you would be interested. It can go like “Thanking you for being with me…” You can refine the sentence structure as you start writing, in accordance with your interests.
  • Decide whether you wish to write it separately or together: It’s better you write it separately and reveal your vows on the day of wedding as a surprise for her.
  •  Decide on the due date: It is always better if you could finish of writing your vows, at least one month before the wedding. Otherwise, you will find it difficult to complete it towards the end, and there are chances that you miss out or even make mistakes in your vows. Set a date for yourself and kindly review it twice to make it look perfect. You can ask any of your best friends to read it and find if any mistakes are there. Ask if they also have any ideas to be added to it.

Start writing your vows

Write about the facts that you love in your spouse to- be: Brainstorm very well of all the matters that makes him/her special in your life. That could be physical features or any skills or behaviors she/ he have got. It can be her beautiful blue eyes or her sweet smile or the helping mentality with any special instances or something very striking you saw in him/her.

  • Try to make a list of adjectives which clearly defines the quality of your partner. Pick out the best one out of it and expand it in your own words.
  •  You can focus on some of the anecdotes which could easily define the qualities of your partner.
  • Think about the hard times you faced along with him/her. In every relationship, you find a tough time. With the support and help of our partner, we could easily move through those days. Try to remember those days and figure out how your better half stood beside you to get through the hard times. If you can present this in a beautiful manner, then that counts.

Mention the kernel memories in your relationship: Make a note of all those wonderful moments you enjoyed with your partner. This can be anything like the first day you met or the days you spent for vacation. An unforgettable moment will be there in your relationship. That has to be explained in an attractive manner in your vow note.

  • Think about the destinations where you went together, like if you went for skiing or for paragliding that can be explained here.
  • Think all about the key milestones in your perfect relationship. It can be getting a dog with your lives, moving in together or the first date. Pick any of these and add it also to your vow note.
  • Think well about the hardest time in both of your lives. It can be an accident or a financial loss. Remember how you both stood for each other during that bad time to get over the hardships you faced.

Write down all those promises you want to give to your partner: There will be a set of promises you might have given for your partner during the course of your relation. You can pick out those, or you can create new promises you want to give him/her. Some can be serious, and others can be a little funny without hurting the feelings of the partner. Give promises which you can keep. Don’t give something which you can’t keep. Also, the promises can be something which suits the nature of your partner. For example; if your partner likes going to Niagara waterfalls, you can give your word that you will take her/him along with you after the wedding.

  •  In most of the traditional vows, people will say that they will be there in sickness and health, in good times and bad times. But you can take the same point and make it in your personal style so that it looks attractive and unique.

Always remember to be yourself: You might be trying to be a perfectionist and impress your guests through a good vow. But always don’t forget about whom you are and what makes you so special for your spouse to be. If you both like to be silly, then choose a silly tone for the vow. If not, go for a deeply romantic one. You can add some poetry to decorate your wordings for her/him.

  •  You can look into internet to get some ideas and to develop your vows.
  • Refer to some poetry especially that is very romantic like those written by Pablo Neruda.
  •  Take the help of some of your friends who recently wrote their own vows.
  •  But never copy the same wordings from your friend. You can customize it in your own way.
  •  If you are a humorous person, then add some light-hearted joke to your vow. Say something serious which has humor towards the end of it. You can say, “I will join you for your friend’s party as long as you give me a flower every week.”
  • Be yourself and please your guests. Without boring the audience, you can present them regarding who you are and how your relationship started and all.

Always remember to avoid clichés: There are chances that you can easily fall for clichés. Writing vows for your own makes it very realistic and true from a heart. Avoid the words like “soul mate”, “best friend” and “heart melted”. If your would be is really your best friend, don’t avoid it in your vow. But always remember that you make it original to its core.
Get feedback: Once you are ready with your vows, then it’s time for taking the feedback from someone. You might be thinking that your vows could make others in tears; it would be good if you take feedback from others. Always try to include the correct tone, and you have clearly portrayed your feelings in it. Here are some people to whom you can ask suggestions:

  • If both of you have agreed for sharing your vows, then give feedback each other.
  •  Present your vow to a best friend of yours who knows both of you and take feedback from that person. Ask him to check whether all your feelings are reflected there.
  •  You can take the advice from parents or even grandparents. They have insights into the things to be said and not to be said in a vow. Also, their experience really matters.

Practicing your vow: Once you are done with the wordings, then it is high time that you practice to present it perfectly. Mostly the presentation matters more than words. Never practice it on the day before wedding. You might not get enough time to go through it. So practice it as early as possible and make sure that you get it printed with no spelling errors.
Presenting the vow: Done with the practice? Then it’s time for executing the vow. Remember that the words should flow from your heart and not mind.

  • Try to focus clearly on what you are saying, and the tone of speech has to be modulated in the desired manner.
  •  Maintain an eye contact with your better half while you say your words. She should feel that you are conveying to her from your heart. It shouldn’t sound very artificial and fake. You can also look at an audience in between.
  • Keep a smile on your face while you utter each word to his/her ears.
  • The presentation will be different from what you have practiced. You might choke in between or forget something which you wanted to add. That is absolutely fine.

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